Story: An Invisible Inequality

I was going from my rental flat nearby towards the office. The way that enters the office premise/open area was such that if you walk in the lane provided for walking then you had to walk longer than a path which I usually used to choose. To come on that footpath you had to take some long steps or little jump, that looked a bit less disciplined and childish. I used to justify it to myself - "Innovations need path-breaking efforts. You have to think out of the box.". I used to laugh inside and feel like -" Bravo, you took two long path-breaking steps ." 

At my desk at work, I used to try to learn and do work genuinely although I knew the output of that was just my learning rather than the actual work of the company at that time. The differentiated jobs of modern technology companies need high skills and you cannot be too productive for the company in a few months. I spent 9 hours in the office that day too, it was 5 in the evening. I decided to go to Marathalli Bridge to buy some fruits and groceries. That place made me feel like a home area with no high rise buildings, small shops, fruit vendors on-road and busy roads.

Till the time I was done with shopping the time was turning the evening into the night. I came to the bus stand to catch the KRCTC bus that used to cost Rs 5 to the bus stand near to my flat. I got the seat on the bus after searching it for some time. A child and his mother were sitting in front of me. They were natives or Kannada speakers. I had a little craze to explore new people and when it comes to interaction with children, it is genuinely a pleasant thing. 

I asked him -" in which class do you study ?"

He replied with a smile and interest - " fourth class ."

His mother also smiled and responded pleasantly but she could hardly speak either Hindi or English. But the child could understand simple sentences like - "what is your name ?"

Then I said - " Do you know to count - One, two, three "

He replied - " yes; one, two, three, four, five "

I smiled and spoke with love in my voice - "ok, what is 4 + 5 ? "

He took a moment and replied 9. I had to deboard the bus soon when I asked him -" What is 4 multiplied to 5 ?"

He seemed thinking but did not speak anything. I asked him with patience and love - " say ".

He hesitated a bit and then said - " Government School ".

I said bye and deboarded the bus. But his reply has taken my stability and comfort. His answer shook me from inside. I felt more sadness and little anger.

It would be normal had he replied incorrectly or "don't know" but he said "Government School". An 8-9-year-old child was saying something with a sense of deprivation and accepting it as justification. It reminded me of my school days when I used to feel that I am in Government School and lagging behind. When I entered the college where most of the students were from private school - " I already had hesitation of lacking something, it might be good English speaking,  or it might be some so-called modernity. I also had a little pride in myself that even if I had been a Government School Student, I also got admission to reputed college. The situation was like I was feeling as if I was the person who was inherently different from others because of schooling differences.

I was walking towards my flat thinking these things. What made me feel cold from inside was the thought that even if that little boy and I had been 2000km and 20years apart in the space-time continuum, the feeling had been the same - " I am from a Government School."

It's not that every Government School student had the same feeling but it really existed. It makes you feel deprived and unequal that may also stop you to dream "high" and accepting yourself to be on the unfortunate side of the system. You feel comfortable in "your standard" of institutions and employment. While saying this I have to make some clarifications that I have been from a middle-income family who could have afforded a "private school" and I got some really good teachers and a period in schooling days which was really good. Yes, there was a time too that as a child and student I felt neglected and discouraged by the system. 

But more than this external or physical or educational inequality, the horrifying thing is this invisible inequality that resides in the psychology of a child. The psychology that the environment gives and they are demotivated and discouraged psychologically. I was remembering how my eyes became teary and I have revolted inside when I was in Class 12th. It was mid-February that year and boards exams were approaching. The school was arranging a picnic for a day at that time on that particular day. I was also supposed to go to the picnic with my class. But I went that day to school with my JEE form for verification and not for the picnic. The School staff was counting students for the picnic and arranging them. I went to Principal Office for the verification. The vice-principal of my school was busy with something and I asked her to verify my documents. She replied annoyingly - " Go to the picnic. What will you do by filling this form for JEE."

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